Technological advances and scientific studies have been conducted in recent years, give the possibility for many couples to fulfill the "dream of being parents."
In CEGYR, the average age of a woman who needs to include in their treatment of fertility egg donation, is 41 years. This includes women whose ovaries no longer have the ability to produce eggs or of poor quality, as well as women who failed previous treatment repeatedly, assuming some kind of problem at the oocyte.
When treatment is proposed donation of eggs or sperm, couples start to get many questions about who "are the true parents" of the child, or how and when to tell and what to say. Also questioned the similarity and genetic drag.
"In the first instance what we say to a partner who has to go through an egg donation is that motherhood and fatherhood go through the link, not who provides the genetic information. Furthermore, we suggest you accept and prepare for treatment from the start. To do this, those couples who will go through egg donation treatment as a first step in our center, we need to have a consultation with a team of psychologists. This is to understand the process that will live and understand if the couple is ready to go through a treatment of those characteristics. It is very important to understand the meaning of egg donation, "said Sergio Papier, Medical Director CEGYR.
In this type of fertility treatment including egg donation, it is necessary to prepare parents who have concerns about how to tell this to your son and his family.
"Parents generally thought of fear repeat address this issue with their children. Fear that the child in the future have a reaction similar to that of adoption, claiming to know the donor. They fear that there is a search. What we often forget is that in making the search is related to the abandonment and not in the oocyte, where what is at stake is a deep desire to be parents. A genuine love and need and this is important for parents to understand what it transmitted to the child, "says Leticia Urdapilleta, PhD in Psychology, a member of Team CEGYR Psychologists.
"So it's very important to work on the idea of what it means and is" parenting. " Donors and recipients often have the same fantasies, but reversed. The donor is afraid that you wish to return the child and the receiver are afraid that you claim your son. " Also, parents are afraid that the child wants to meet his father. The phrase I always hear is "If the mother wants to know?". Here it is important that couples understand that no two mothers. The mother is wearing it in the belly ", added Mr. Darío Fernández, a member of Team CEGYR Psychologists.
"The mother is a single, it was in the womb and gave birth. The donor can not claim statutory maternity, "says Dr. Urdapilleta.
According to the law of Argentina, is the mother of a son who stop, who leads him in the belly, so clearly the biological mother oocyte, is well defined.
"While there are biological patterns are genetic, there are others that are based on pregnancy. It is important to know that personality and psychological characteristics are defined in the bond generated with the children. Parents often fear that, "If you then this gesture is not going to be like me, or does another. Or they are too fearful or hyperactive. These patterns are not worth of genetics, are defined with the upbringing and education, within the limits and love that is given to the child. The theme of the similarities is another recurring question and always try as a team with psychologists. All these fantasies end up in the moment that they take the child into his arms and they see it. That is the end all doubt. Then, more or less similar, the children take the habits and characteristics of their parents and there are the signs seem to need their parents, "says Dr. Papier.
How and What to tell a child about how they came into the world?
"Live it naturally from the beginning is the concept that work and recommend in CEGYR. A mechanism to be born by egg donation treatment is natural for the child after birth is to come to the Center, visit the site and the professionals who were in charge of treatment and thus be in contact with the issue of how natural as possible. This, little by little, the child will be incorporating natural, otherwise, if it becomes a taboo subject parents may begin to feed fantasies that trigger problems in the future, "says Dr. Papier.
"When children get older, we encourage parents to use some everyday situations in order to introduce the subject. These can be, for example, when they see a pregnant woman or when they go to see a newborn child, "says Mr. Fernandez.
To talk to children about this issue is critical to take into account the cognitive and psychological aspects, depending on age. There are words and explain only what the child asks and can understand. It is ideal to do so within five years, since they have less confrontation with the situation.
Parenting is built day by day and love is not related to the new birth in isolation, but with the possibility that child build a bond of love and acceptance. It is important that children grow up knowing.
About CEGYR
CEGYR (Center for Studies in Gynecology and Reproduction) was established in September 1983 with the aim of promoting excellence in reproductive medicine. The first center in 1984 achieved a pregnancy through IVF and has since developed an intense medical care especially devoted to the problems of human reproduction, with recognized leadership and being a reference of the main Centres for Assisted Reproduction in the country and throughout Latin America . Since November 2002, also has the ISO 9001/2000 certification issued by the Bureau Veritas Quality International, after verifying compliance with the rigorous standards of total quality in the service offered by the institution: Comprehensive Health Care, Laboratory of Embryology and Operating Rooms Administrative Services, under the highest standards of biosecurity.
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